The hangover. Nature’s way of reminding you that you are not, in fact, invincible. It’s a beautiful thing, really. An unbiased admonishment of your previous night’s behavior that simply and fairly judges your body’s ability to process the terrible things you did to it. Hell, if drinking were easy, everyone would do it.
Hangovers aren’t exactly consistent, though. There are those adorable little hangovers that merely laugh at you until you take that first sip of a bloody mary at brunch. Others that require some water, a mild painkiller and a bit more sleep. And others still that necessitate a dark room and absolute silence, and are usually paired with bold declarations that you’re swearing off drinking.
So it’s no wonder that preventing or curing hangovers is big business. These days, there are myriad products on the market claiming to eradicate your hangover. Others will purportedly stop it before it starts. And many products from both sides of the aisle are simply caffeine, aspirin and some B vitamins. Three things that will certainly combat the symptoms of a hangover, but nothing that actually fights the underlying cause.
That’s why Toniiq piqued our interest. This new-to-market product eschews the caffeine and B vitamins for something called Lingzhi, which is a naturally-growing mushroom that aids liver enhancement and detoxification. Now, we’re no scientists, but addressing the liver seems like a good idea to us.
Toniiq is composed of 2,061 milligrams of Lingzhi extract powder. And Lingzhi contains:
1. triterpenes, which enhance liver detoxification, stimulate liver cell regeneration and improve overall liver function
2. antioxidants, which increase the flow of oxygen throughout the body to rejuvenate the body on a cellular level
3. polysaccharides, which enhance immune function to bolster the body’s natural defenses.
And all of that, in theory, means you won’t feel like death after a long night of drinking.
It’s hard to imagine a better proving ground than Tales of the Cocktail. From early morning seminars and midday tastings to raucous parties and late-nights on Bourbon St, the week-long drinks fest can try even the most embattled drinking veteran. This year, we came prepared. Four packs of Toniiq for four days of revelry.
First, a disclaimer: it’s a somewhat impossible endeavor to accurately test a hangover antidote. Unless you meticulously track your alcohol consumption, food and water consumption, sleep and timeframes, you’ll never produce the same results for a scientifically significant study. And that doesn’t even take into account your personal metabolism. But I tried my best.
Each night upon returning to my hotel room, I grabbed a Toniiq pack, which cleverly utilizes a Matrix-esque system of black pills and white pills. I popped the two black pills with plenty of water before going to bed. And each morning upon waking up, I popped the white pill, again with plenty of water. Over four days, I averaged five hours of sleep per night.
Somehow, against all odds, I woke up each morning feeling okay. Not great, mind you, but a solid okay. Maybe a 70% on the health meter, which, all things considered, seems pretty good. Subsisting for several days on lots of alcohol, po’boys and inadequate sleep is never advisable. But Toniiq really did seem to help. By the last day I was exhausted, but throughout it all, I never felt hungover. And given the merciless toll that four days in New Orleans can exact on your body, that seems unusual and noteworthy. It’s just anecdotal evidence, sure, but that evidence suggests that Toniiq deserves some real credit for getting me through Tales in one piece.
For more on how it works, or to score some for yourself, check out toniiq.com.